Naruto: Sex ed
by hardxfreakinxcore
Summary: COMPLETED! Yes, you read right, completed! Chapter 4: Kakashi reads part of his book to his students... but what is their reaction? Some adultish humor in last chapter... BEWARE!
1. I Think We're Getting 'The Talk'

I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto DOES. I would pity the characters if I did, because then they'd have to endure such unending torture as demonstrated in this story.

* * *

_I wonder why Kakashi-sensei wanted us to visit the academy, _Naruto thought as he took a seat.

"Hey, Sakura! Do you know why we're here?"

"No, actually. He just said, 'Be here by eleven-thirty.' So naturally, he won't be here until two in the afternoon." She replied, concluding with an agitated tone in her voice. Noticing Sasuke's presence, she scurried over to the vacant seat next to him.

"True," Sasuke added. He glanced at Sakura, who was grinning and flushing madly.

"Hi Sasuke-kun! Mind if I take a seat?" she asked, though she pulled out the chair and sat before he could voice his opinion.

"Yes. I mind." _Damnit, when will she get it? I'm too sexy to be with anyone else, except for myself… Wait – what?_

"Sakura-san! Naruto-kun! What are you doing here?"

The three genins shifted their eyes to the speaker, a skinny boy clad in green spandex and ridiculous orange legwarmers with the largest eyebrows you could lay your eyes upon . What a guy. He approached them and waved with his two teammates, Tenten and Hyuga Neji, tagging along.

"Fuzzy brows!" Naruto shouted. "Take a seat!" and he gestured to the seat next to him.

"Hi Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto!" Tenten greeted, then tugged on Neji's sleeve. "C'mon, let's sit down."

"… Don't I get a say in this?" he inquired, not particularly wanting to spend the day in a room with two fan girls (Lord knows he gets enough of that already), a drop-out who pulverized his conceited ass during the Chuunin exams, and Lee (enough said). _The only sane one in this nut house is Uchiha… _

"Sasuke-kun!" A shout echoed throughout the room.

Once again, everyone's heads snapped in the direction of the speaker. Yamanaka Ino winked, while Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji brought up the rear.

Sasuke's eyes widened. _Kill me now, Itachi…_

"Hey Forehead!" Ino screeched. "Scoot over so Sasuke-kun and I can have our _alone time_." She seduced, and threw a sweet glance in poor Sasuke's direction. Sasuke responded with a huge coughing fit.

"Think again, Ino-Pig! Go sit next to Shikamaru or Chouji!" Sakura shook her first in front of Ino's face menacingly.

"They're already sitting next to each other! And who cares about them, anyway?"

"Crazy fan girls who are far too troublesome?" suggested Shikamaru as he leaned back in his chair so only the back legs touched the ground.

"My mom?" Chouji added while munching on his infamous potato chips. Or maybe his habit of frequently devouring potato chips is what made it infamous? Only Chouji knows the truth, or does he…? (sorry...)

"Shut up. Who asked you guys anyway?"

"… You did…"

Ignoring Shikamaru's last comment, she pulled up a seat next to Sasuke so they squeezed together behind the table. Sakura twitched madly in her seat, before moving herself closer to Sasuke as well.

_This is the life, _sighed Sakura. _Let's just pretend Ino pig's not here…_

_This is the life, _sighed Ino. _Let's just pretend Forehead's not here…_

Abruptly, an eerie silence filled the room, which could mean only one thing: _Shino_. He glanced at his associates and acknowledged their presence with a mere hand wave. Behind him, his two teammates – a girl and a boy with a dog lying on top of his head - strode into the classroom.

"Arf!" barked the boy's dog.

"What do you mean, 'you have a bad feeling about the meeting, Akamaru'? Oh, hey guys!" hollered Shino's comrade.

"Kiba!" Naruto blurted. "Your team's here, too? What's going on here? Oh, and hi Hinata."

A timid girl with opaque eyes turned red as a beet and twiddled her fingers as soon as she heard Naruto's comment. "H-hi, Naruto-kun…" she muttered while avoiding his eyes. Shino felt no urge to greet his blonde haired "friend" since he had just greeted everyone with his wave, so it would have been a waste of his valuable time. OK.

"Hey, Hinata!" Kiba called, beckoning to a chair beside him.

"Coming, Kiba-kun," and it was then that the most horribly pleasant reality dawned on her:_ I-I'm sitting right behind Naruto!_ She froze in mid-step. The remainder of the genins – excluding Naruto, obviously – had recognized her peculiar behavior whenever she was within a forty-foot radius of him long ago, since they discontinued agonizing over her shyness.

"Y-you don't have to sit here if you don't want, Hinata," Kiba mumbled, suddenly looking offended.

"No – it's not that!" she stuttered, hurrying over to sit next to Kiba.

"So," Neji nearly shouted, straining to be audible over the tiny commotion suddenly created. "Does anyone have a guess why all our teachers gathered us here without telling us why?" Except for Shikamaru, Sakura, and Sasuke, the rest of the genin donned awkward, perplexed expressions.

"Didn't give it half a thought," Naruto remarked, completely forgetting that the first question that popped into his brain was: _I wonder why Kakashi-sensei wanted us to visit the academy…_

"I thought Asuma-sensei was hooking up me with Sasuke." (Hopefully you assumed that was Ino.)

"I never question the authority of Gai-sensei!" Lee shouting, thrusting a fist into the air.

"Shut it with your Gai-sensei crap, Eyebrows! You don't see me wearing a mask obscuring most of my face and reading perverted novels!" Naruto yelled, about to knock Lee upside his head. After he controlled his temper and several concerned looks in his direction, Naruto continued in his usual manner. "Hey – maybe they're teaching us some weird-ass jutsu, huh? Maybe it requires ALL of us…"

"I doubt it, Naruto," Sakura replied. "Why would one technique require all of us?" She glanced in Sasuke's direction awaiting one of his typical snide remarks to Naruto or some sort of input concerning Neji's question. Poor, sufferable Sasuke sighed.

"Personally, I think that this is another one of our senseis' cruel attempts in trying to have us 'bond'."

"Wow! What an awesome answer, Sasuke!" and Sasuke flinched as Ino swung her arms around his neck. Veins popped on Sakura's forehead as a result of her inhuman rage toward Ino; Naruto's (_Why does Sasuke-teme get all the girls? He's GAY!_); Sasuke's (_Get off me, bitch!_); and Shino's (he's weird like that).

"Maybe," Lee began in a thoughtful manner. "They're giving us 'the talk'."

An uncomfortable silence commenced. Then… all hell broke loose.

"HA HA HA HA! You're kidding, right Lee?" Kiba couldn't seem to contain himself. Naruto's laughter came soon after. (it rhymes... ha)

Lee let out a long, heavy sigh. "Why do you think they didn't tell us why we were meeting? Because then they'd have to deal with us exploding in their face – and worse, they'd have to do it individually. But, if all of the Jonins banded together, then they might have _somewhat_ of a handle over us."

"But I know everything about girls!" Naruto claimed, feeling mighty proud of himself until he realized every female in the vicinity glowered at him, especially from the likes of Sakura and Tenten. "Well, I do! How do you think I came up with 'Sexy no Jutsu'?"

That. Was. It. Tenten snapped. A fury unlike anything remotely human spread across the proud feminist's face. Neji edged as far away from her as he could, but nearly fell out of his chair. Lee shivered.

"Scratch that thought, Kiba. They won't have a chance at _any_ type of control over us."

"How, Naruto?" Tenten managed, levelling her voice to a deadly calm. "Cause… You're… A…"

"GOOD MORNING, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS!" a familiar voice rung in the classroom.

"PERV!" Tenten shrieked, oblivious to the four new faces in the room. Maito Gai's expression, previously quite content, shrank to a look of complete confusion and… worry?

"Kakashi! It's worse than I suspected," he exclaimed in exaggerated urgency.

* * *

So that's the first chapter! Please comment, and I accept constructive criticism (God knows I need it) and maybe some positive feedback couldn't hurt :). I'll be writing the second chapter in no time, but I don't know when it'll be done. I have a gigantic research report, and I'm sick to boot. Plus, I'm writing a one-shot about Lee's first experience with alcohol and I'm still writing a story/one-shot (can't decide) about Obito's funeral and what happened afterwards, so whenever it comes it comes. 


	2. Say WHAT!

Hello! Betcha thought I forgot about this, huh? I've been kinda busy, that's all. And my computer's been giving me hell, to boot. This chapter will be kind of a DRAG, to say the least, but DON'T WORRY - Chapter 3 will OWN! Oh yeah, if its not much of a bother, can you guys review my other story, too? It's about Kakashi and Rin attending Obito's funeral yada yada yada. I posted it at a funky time and it only has like, 11 hits. It's kinda angsty-ish, so don't read if its not your thing.

Plus: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters. That includes Lee's sexy eyebrows. Come on, you know they're hot...

PLUS: There may be some grammar mistakes and oddly stated sentences and what-not because I couldn't stand to hold off on posting this for much longer.

PLUS: For any of you Ten/Neji fans, you may wanna check out the Pairings listings on my profile, because this story has a sort of IMPLIED Lee/Ten thing goin on. Nothing you should gouge your eyes out over or anything. In fact, all pairings are listed there, so go take a look at it.

BACK TO THE SHOW (wow that was looonnnnggg)...

* * *

Chapter 2: "Say WHAT!"

Hatake Kakashi, a tall man with a shock of silver hair, lifted his gaze from a miniature novel, Icha Icha Paradise.

"Hm? Someone say my name?"

"Yeah," a women's voice nearly shouted. "When Tenten called out, 'perv'!"

"Dis!" Kiba hollered, being the second one in the room to receive concerned stares. "Erm… sorry," he mumbled, scratching his head. Ignoring Kiba's outburst, the three male Jonin took a fairly large step away from an agitated Kurenai, knowing to be extra cautious during her 'Monthly Crimson Tidal Wave'.

"So, why did you guys call us here without giving us an explanation? Some of us – meaning, not me, obviously – are simply _dying _to know," Shikamaru questioned, referring to the extensive debate over the issue earlier. The Jonin shifted around tensely, not meeting eye contact with any of their pupils.

"For the record, this was _all_ your idea, Kurenai!" Asuma whispered furiously.

"Well, it's part Gai and Kakashi's fault for telling me what they found on Kiba's computer!" She averted her eyes in their direction. "Were you guys _honestly _going to leave them to their own devices after finding on 'porn-r-us dot net' (1) his desktop?"

"Well, yeah."

"That pretty much covers it."

"It's not THAT bad of a site."

All the Jonin stared at Asuma, but Kurenai took it a step further and SMACK! Poor Asuma.

"Well, when you guys are finished having your _pleasant little chat_, maybe you can answer Shikamaru's question," Neji said calmly. _I REALLY want to get out of here…_

"Er – why don't we have Iruka explain it, and he should be here any minute now," Gai replied, and then snickered to himself. _He probably chickened out…_

All the sudden, without ANY foreshadowing from Gai's previous comment WHATSOEVER, Umino Iruka darted into the room. "Hi! Sorry I'm late! I, er -"

"Don't say ANY more, Iruka-sensei. We've heard every excuse in the book from Kakashi-sensei," Naruto interrupted.

"It's true," Kakashi added.

"So – for the," Naruto counted his fingers slowly, "THIRD time – can _someone _tell us WHY WE'RE HERE!" he yelled, his patience thinning.

"What?" Iruka turned to the four sheepish Jonin and mouthed: "You didn't tell them yet?"

Shikamaru, being too damn smart for his own damn good, caught on that there was something amiss… Something cryptic, from the sound of it… Something… _troublesome. _He shivered at the prospect of having to actually _apply _himself.

"Well, we decided since YOU'VE taught them for nearly all their lives, you should have the _obligation _of going first!" (It could only be Gai…)

Iruka glared, and grumbled at him, "Damn you." Gai replied with a thumbs-up and a PINGING toothy grin. Iruka faced the students with his hands fidgeting uncontrollably.

"Hey, Iruka, if you don't want to do this, I will," Kakashi offered. It was his turn to face the young ninja. "You see…"

"NO!" The other three shouted, casting evil glares in his direction.

_I guess I have no other choice…_

"Erm, right. So, um…" he soon noticed that the majority of the students wore perplexed expressions, while the more stoic personalities gave him a look that screamed: _Hurry up, goddamnit! _

"Yeah, so you guys are all shinobi, and well, we…"

"Damn right, bitch!" Sasuke stated, perhaps more loudly than he desired. He instantly became the third to receive odd, concerned glances from everyone occupying the room. Realizing this, he folded his arms and "hmph-ed," reverting to his typical 'Sexy Glare Demeanor'.

"Sasuke, did you forget to take your medication today?" Naruto asked in a mocking, motherly tone. Everyone – minus Sakura and Ino – burst into hysterics.

"Naruto!" Ino lamented, shooting him death glares.

"Why don't I just cut to the chase? Kiba, when Gai and Kakashi came over to check on you guys last morning, they found something _very odd_ on your computer," Asuma started.

_Oh no, _Kiba thought as he gasped in horror. _Why was THAT still on the computer? I don't like the looks of this..._

"Porn-r-us dot net ring a bell?"

All the guys in the room fell silent with fear etched in their features as they glared at Naruto. Meanwhile, the girls felt a mixture of rage and disgust toward the boys.

"WAIT!" exclaimed Lee, dramatically rising from his seat. "This is a terrible misunderstanding! We didn't intend to find it!"

"Yeah _sure_," Kakashi remarked dripping with sarcasm. "It just found you, right?"

"Um," he felt his cheeks redden. "Well, it's all Naruto's fault!" Lee shouted, pointing at him.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted.

"Lee's right," Shino added, making his first appearance in the chapter.

"Of course! I have no doubts, my youthful student!" Gai responded in his boisterous manner.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"LEE!" A new voice shrieked, and then, for the second time: SMACK! Except Kurenai did not slap Asuma (yet), but rather; Tenten slapped Lee.

The once ecstatic boy flinched, sidestepping away from Tenten and whimpered. "What'd I do?" he asked with sparkly puppy-dog eyes (though they really resembled sparkly fish eyes, but anyways…)

"I'm sick of all your 'sentimental moments' with Gai-sensei, that's what!" she shouted, folding her arms and turning her back to him. Lee, after thinking for a moment, simply shrugged his arms and sat back down._I still don't get what's so bad about it… and I've never noticed anyone ever being ANNOYED… _

Kiba snickered. "Why do YOU care, Tenten?"

Tenten deepened a few shades of magenta, then retorted: "Because it gets REALLY old when you have to deal with the same crap EVERY DAY!"

_"__Right,_" he replied, rolling his eyes.

Tenten flashed an evilly pleasant smile. "Would_you _care to end up like Lee?" and she gestured to the glowing red mark on Lee's cheek.

"No," he responded instantly.

"Anyway, back on topic…" Kakashi agonized, wishing to be ANYWHERE but at the academy listening to all this incessant chatter when he could be reading.

"Let me explain," Sasuke offered wearily. "We weren't doing anything wrong," Sasuke paused for a moment. ___Per se… _"But we had a pop-up and Naruto – being the idiot he is – clicked on, I quote, 'the picture of the pretty girl'."

"Oh!" Gai clapped his hands together with a merry countenance. "Then – why couldn't you close the window?"

"Uh… well, um…" the guys stuttered, not exactly wanting to describe what transpired two nights ago. Meanwhile, Neji's face turned, if possible, redder than what Tenten's had been several moments earlier. (2)

___I HAVE to get out of here! _He glanced at Naruto, Kiba, and Lee, who returned his worried, pleading expression with silent fits of laughter. (3)

"But that's our point – you guys should have clicked out!" Iruka shouted over the commotion at Naruto's corner of the room. Chouji finally set down his potato chips (this is SERIOUS business, peoples!)

"But we didn't have a choi –"

"Too bad," Kurenai interrupted.

"So what now?" Shikamaru asked, folding his arms behind his head, still tilting back on his chair.

A long, awkward silence ensued. ___Very long._

_……………….._

_"I'm hungry!" Chouji exclaimed to himself, then picked up his bag of potato chips and poured the crumbs into his mouth._

"Okay…" Asuma's eyes traveled around the room, landing on the back wall. "Well, KURENAI – meaning, none of us four guys – thought it would be a_great idea _if we… talked to you… ___about it."_

Shikamaru toppled out of his chair.

"SAY WHAT!" a chorus of voices screamed.

"I knew it!" chanted the one and only Lee.

"How… troublesome!" Shikamaru grunted furiously, trying desperately to untangle himself from his chair.

Sasuke covered his face with his hands and shook his head in exasperation. ___Someone, please, kill me. Just put me out of my misery. _He threw a tentative glance in Sakura and Ino's direction. They returned a slightly appalled expression, but scooted closer to him anyway. Poor Sasuke.

"So… uh…" Iruka looked at the Jonins for backup

"Here, let me explain it," Kakashi offered as he let out an overly dramatic sigh. The teachers exchanged worried glances and pitied their students.

___Kakashi, if you even DARE and say anything inappropriate, I swear… _Kurenai absent-mindedly shook her fist in his direction menacingly. Once she realized that everyone was, once again, sending odd, concerned stares in her direction, she blushed and moved her hand by her side. "Heh heh heh… eh…"

"So, anyways," Kakashi began. "Instead of just telling you about relationships and what-not, I came up with a better idea."

"We can leave?" Neji asked.

"Unfortunately, no. I decided to read parts of my novel -" the teachers were about to interrupt, but he continued casually, "some of the less explicit parts, anyway."

* * *

(1) "Porn-r-us dot net" will be explained in "Naruto's Internet Adventure." It was originally written in another format, but document manager won't accept an actual URL format, so I wrote it out in a sort of 'short word form'. Yay! 

(2) Neji's nervousness will be explained in "Naruto's Internet Adventure".

(3) Naruto, Kiba, and Lee's laughter will also be explained in "Naruto's Internet Adventure".

YET ANOTHER PLUS: Comments of all kinds are appreciated! I had a HUGE trouble with revising this, so if you see ANY mistakes, lemme know cause my computer's been giving me a lot of crap lately.


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Hey everyone! I'm finally back to updating stories after a VERY LONG break. But first, I need your opinion, cause I'm having a problem with what I want to do. Here's the thing: I have the third chapter completed but I still need to edit it; however, I'm not satisfied with it and I've been holding off on posting it. Here's where you come in:

1. Should I post it anyway because I've been neglecting the story for so long?

2. Should I let the story rot for a while as I finish my other projects, then rewrite the third chapter?

3. Should I post the third chapter, finish my other projects, then come back and write an alternate ending?

Just post your answer in a review, message, SOMEHOW. I really can't decide and it would be a big help if you guys give me some advice.

THANKS! And check my profile every now and then, as it's usually updated with story information some way or another.


	4. The Book!

Yes! It's finally here! I decided to post what I have anyway, and if the reaction is less than satisfactory, then I might rewrite it after my other projects. So, please, enjoy the conclusion of Naruto: Sex Ed!

I don't own anything Naruto related, or Naruto, or Sasuke, or Sakura, or Lee, or Shino... or Shino's dad... which is a shame, because Shino's dad is so awesome!

* * *

The Book! 

"No!" Naruto shrieked, rising dramatically from his chair. "I don't want to listen to you read your perv novel!"

Kakashi shrugged. "Hey, it'll be faster and to the point, although it may scar you for life," and as he whipped out his book with an eerie, if slightly anticipating expression, the remainder of those in the classroom grew very tense.

"Uh, Kakashi?" Gai questioned. "Maybe it would be best if…"

"Nonsense, Gai. I _insist_," and there was _something_ in Kakashi's voice that implied something other than eagerness… amusement?

Neji, using his Badasskyugan (sorry couldn't help myself there), squinted in Kakashi's direction. _Do I sense…. contempt? Wait - _Neji's eyes widened - _it's PAYBACK!_

"Right, so…" Kakashi thumbed through his book for several pages. "Aha! Chapter Thirteen - Maya's Discovery," he announced dramatically.

Everyone in the room groaned. This was going to be a _long _talk.

* * *

"And then, in a passionate, orgasmic frenzy -" 

"Kakashi!" Kurenai shrieked, completely mortified. Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"And then, in a passionate, uh - _aroused_ frenzy," he repeated, glancing at Kurenai for her approval. She threw her arms up in the air, at a loss for his utter stupidity. _Reading an adult's novel in front of twelve year olds to explain the birds and the bees…. Honestly!_

"Once again -" Kakashi practically shouted, very annoyed since he could not _correctly _recite his treasured novel, "in a passionate, aroused frenzy, Maya tore Junko's shirt right off his body. Her mouth fell agape when she instantly realized - Junko wasn't a man, after all!" he paused for a moment, as if expecting the tens to "ooh!" or "ah!" in admiration of Jiraiya's superior writing skills. Receiving nothing but horrified, pleading faces, he resumed without a care in the world.

"Maya, astounded, crossed her arms and glared at 'Junko'. A rather uncomfortable minute later, her features softened and she asked, 'Do you have any problem with this?'

'No, not at all,' she replied nonchalantly, shrugging carelessly.

'Okay, good,' and that was Maya's only warning before she grabbed 'Junko' roughly by the shoulders and -"

"MENTAL PICTURE!" an abrupt, disgusted voice echoed in the room.

Kakashi jerked his head up, shocked by everyone's appalled expressions. Kiba, who screamed at him earlier, consoled poor Hinata, whose eyes bugged, and she shook violently. In front of them, Naruto and Lee's heads slumped into their folded arms on the desk in aggravation, hoping - to no avail, of course - to block out Kakashi's merry voice.

"Naruto-kun," Lee mumbled. "Your sensei is, uh…" he lifted his head wearily. "Well, he has _very odd _reading preferences…"

"Just admit it, Lee." Naruto's teeth clenched, and his voice amplified tenfold. "He's a FRIGGIN PER-mmph!" and the rest of his statement was drowned out, for, thanks to Lee's awesome reflexes, an outstretched hand covered Naruto's rather large mouth.

"Have an inkling of respect, Naruto!"

"Naruto swore under his breath and mumbled obscenities as he kicked the inside of his desk in rage.

"You're too noble."

Next, Kakashi watched Tenten tentatively remove her hands from her ears and open an eye. Realizing her thirty minutes in hell had ended, her other eye shot open, then she eased into a state of tranquility. _Thank God that's finally over! But Neji's been acting really weird lately… I think I want to change seats. He's been almost as weird as Shino!_

"Hey, Neji, what's wrong?"

Neji chose not to respond as he allowed his mind to wander. He wore a curious, even content expression, and he scratched his chin absent-mindedly. _Man, that was SO hot! I wonder where Kakashi buys that book… _His eyes widened as his previous thought dawned on him. _Wait - no, that is not respectable behavior, especially from a Hyuga!_

_Who cares? _His inner beast roared, sending Neji into complete confusion.

_What the hell? Since when did I develop a split-personality? _Neji slammed his head on the desk in agony.

"Uh…" Tenten's voice abandoned her, and she resolved for patting him on the back. "It's okay, Neji. That horrid book disturbed everyone."

Finally, Kakashi averted his attention to Sasuke's side of the room. Sakura and Ino glared daggers at him, as their mouths hung open in disgust. Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. _Sometimes, there is a such thing as too much information. _For a second, Kakashi couldn't find Chouji until he assumed that the boy with the potato chips bag pulled over his head must be him. But Sasuke's reaction intrigued him the most - the only emotions Kakashi could detect were confusion and curiosity.

_Oh, so…. OH! I always wondered how that worked. But… then… Gah! Nevermind!_

For some reason, Sasuke stared at his reflection in the mirror. _I never noticed how sexy I look in black before. _(1) _Wait! Don't think like that, Sasuke! Be cool… calm… _he stole another look at his reflection and sighed dreamily, then shook his head in distress. _Damn, I'm too hot for my own good! _

"No, no, no!" Sasuke shouted, nearly pulling his hair out. _Whoops… heh heh…_

Shikamaru chuckled, staring at Sakura and Ino behind him. "So, do you guys really want a schizo for your future husband?"

"Sasuke's not _mental!" _Sakura retorted, as if it were perfectly normal to blurt out random phrases outloud.

"But that's okay!" Ino stated, hugging Sasuke. "I'll take care of you, Sasuke!"

"NO! He's mine!" and Sakura tugged Sasuke's arm close to her.

Meanwhile, Kurenai shook her head in dismay. _What a TOTAL failure this was. Kakashi is SO dead…_

"Kakashi!" she hissed.

"Hn?" he replied.

"I-cannot-believe-you!"

Silence.

"Want me to read another chapter?"

"NO!" everyone shouted in unison.

"What's the matter?" he asked. Oh Kakashi, you silly goose…

"I think we've learned enough for today," Tenten declared, rising and heading for the door, grabbing Neji and Lee's arms and pulling them out the door.

"GOODBYE MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS!" Lee waved happily. There was a collective shudder throughout the room.

_Wait… no… it can't end like this. _Neji thought as he was dragged out of the door. _I needed to ask Kakashi a question… _

"Perhaps we learned _too much,_" Shino added, also nearing the exit. _If anyone hears about my little bug predicament, I will be tortured for eternity. _Shino felt rather uneasy again, as that familiar sensation recurred throughout his body. He grew fearful of what his bugs would do next, once was enough! _Not again… must get out of here! _"Coming, Hinata, Kiba?"

"_Definitely. _C'mon, Hinata."

"R-right," she tensed again. "Um, bye, N-Naruto-kun," and she gave him a quick wave.

"Yeah, see ya later! Let's hope we can meet somewhere more favorable than here!" Naruto waved, flashing a wicked grin.

And that was all our timid, opaque-eyed friend could tolerate before collapsing on Kiba's shoulder. Kiba's whole demeanor suddenly changed to pure anger. "YOU BASTARD!" he bellowed. "You were… on purpose… I swear…"

"What did I do?" Naruto demanded.

"_You know_," Kiba glared. "Now don't push it! Help Shino and me carry Hinata out of here - wait, Shino?" No response. "Heh, guess he was as ready to get out of here as I am."

"Alright, lets go. Later, Sakura!" Naruto waved, still unable to divert her attention from Sasuke or her rival.

_Several minutes later…._

"Um," Iruka started, who had been practically hiding in the corner throughout the chapter. "You three can go now. Even the Jonins, Shikamaru, and Chouji had left a few minutes ago."

"Oh, yes, Iruka-sensei! _Sasuke and I _have to… um, go!" Sakura hooked her arm with Sasuke's and glared at Ino, while making a hasty exit toward the door.

"Oh, no you don't, Billboard Brow!" Ino yelled, chasing after them out the door. "Sasuke, I'll save you!"

Iruka's eye twitched. "Um, bye then…"

_The next day….._

Kakashi opened his lazy, visible eye as he checked the clock. _9:00 a.m.? Much too early. _Right before he drifted off into his perverted dreamland, he noticed two pieces of paper lying on his nightstand.

"Hmm?" He picked up the first note, decorated with dozens of Uchiha fans.

_Dear Kakashi-sensei,_

_Are you SURE that's how women become pregnant? Because I would never have guessed that, and no one ever told me. Please, tell me, are you ABSOLUTLELY POSITIVE?_

_From, _

_A Certain Uchiha_

Kakashi stared. "Well, that's an interesting way to start the morning." He yawned and scanned over the other note, decorated with dozens of caged birds.

_Dear Mr. Hatake,_

_As a random bystander whom you have no affiliation with whatsoever, I can't help but notice the novel you constantly carry with you throughout the day. It appears to be quite an addictive piece of literature, and so I was curious as to where you purchased such a top-quality book._

_From, _

_A Certain Hyuga_

Kakashi was left speechless. _Please, for the love of God, let this NOT be from Hinata…_

_

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_Yep, that's (possibly) it! Reviews are treated with tender, loving care, so... review! If there's anything that's unclear, or anything I could do to improve, please, let me know! I want to improve my writing however I can!

(1) Sasuke is wearing his black outfit he wore during the Chuunin exams versus Gaara.

In case you didn't understand the whole 'Shino thing,' just reread the part about his little bug problem and use your imagination!


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